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Does the season of lockdown seem like a burden or blessing? I’m feeling very sad for those feeling the strain of economic loss and fear for the future of jobs.  I’m also feeling sorrow for those who have lost loved ones to the virus or those who live with weak immune systems and cannot easily consider going out.   The whole experience has made me consider the power of fear.  When we fear, do we stay locked in negatives that keep us from finding positive routes that help us overcome our hardships? 

Consider the wider application. How does fear affect our daily lives even without this pandemic?  Since this is an art blog,  I’m going to consider the fear factor as it relates to art.   

I do a lot of plein air painting. I love being outside in nature’s beauty. I love the challenge of capturing the essence of a scene in paint. I can deal with the struggle of fighting the wind, rain, snow or the bugs as I stand in open spaces because I know how to prepare with umbrella, better coat or gloves, repellent, etc. But the choke hold of fear is not from the elements. It comes from within my mind or heart, often at the midpoint of a painting. 

I usually begin with a carefully chosen landscape, one that offers a clear value pattern, good design elements, and  good lighting that will not radically change before I have time to get the essence of it.  I also usually do a small, quick, value sketch to be sure I understand the elements needed to make a successful painting.  Then I  choose the substrate, lay out paints and begin mixing the main color/values needed for the project.  Only then do I put the first stroke to the surface. The first stroke sets the tone for the whole work.  

I continue to lay in shapes of color/value like little pieces of a puzzle, similar to the  familiar paint-by-number art kits, only there are no guidelines but those I see in life and in my head. And when I am about midway into the painting, panic strikes. The challenge of bringing the vision to completion looks impossible. The transition between the block-in stage and the make-it-look-right stage looks like a maze of messy confusion. It seems impossible. It will end in failure.  I didn’t foresee working round that shape. I didn’t do a proper background before I tried to do this foreground.  I see I need a value adjustment. It has too many rough edges.  Fear screams, “Stop! Just wipe it off and go home.” 

But then reason comes riding to the rescue and I continue to analyze and press on. I find a solution to the shaping problem. I see the background can be adjusted. I tinker with value patterns. I find my highlights. I soften edges. The painting begins to take shape and I feel the excitement of completion coming.  From that point on, it’s all fun and no fear. 

What if I stopped at the fear point? What would I have missed in the way of learning, growing, achieving? 

The art life is a life lesson in growth.  If we are not pressing on through the fear, we are retreating or dying.  Standing still is not an option. 

Have you found your resolve to press on? To do the next thing? If you are an artist, do you find life lessons in the process?